Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I'm back.


It feels like forever since I've been on here. It's so surreal to me.

I'm not sure how to put this into words, so... here it goes.

Around Halloween, I was attacked by the creature I mentioned in my previous post; to those of you who are Internet denizens, you'll know it as the Rake. I've also heard it compared to an incubus (aside from having sex with you while you sleep - which is kind of disturbing in itself), so there's that. It's pretty much a pale, humanoid creature that has large claws, and it's most common M.O. is to either sit on the edge of beds and act like a fucking creeper, or it attacks someone and rips them to shreds. It's usually both. When I hear this description, this makes me see him more as a naked Freddy Krueger that hasn't been out in the sun in quite a while, but let's not go there.

The truth is, this thing is more terrifying than any other fictional creature you've heard about. "Why, Art?" you ask? Because it's fucking real, morons. You don't have to believe me, but I've got the damn wounds to prove it.

Which leads me to my next topic - how I was attacked. Based on the description I gave, you might believe I was attacked during my sleep. Oh, how you are wrong, dear reader! Not only was I not attacked during my sleep, I wasn't even attacked during the night! That's right, this fucker had the balls to attack me in broad daylight! I had just gotten back to the place where I had been staying and I almost forgot my drink in it. I reached in to get it when I felt something push me back into the car. Then, as I turned around to see who my attacker was, I felt like someone had set a cat on my legs, because the next thing I know I feel these streaks of pain in both my legs. That's right, the thing had just taken out my legs so that I couldn't get away.

So, I feel myself starting to get dragged out by the thing and I grabbed onto the steering wheel. I was still facing away from the fucker, but I could hear it growling like a damn dog. Except... no, it wasn't like a dog at all. It was trying to sound like a dog.

Right, anyway... I grabbed onto the steering wheel with my free hand and tried to turn myself around. Big mistake. As soon as I turned, the asshole tried to slash my face. I managed to get my arm up in time to stop it, but that came at a price, too. I panicked and struck out with the hand holding my keys, and it hit the thing's face. I knocked it back just enough to where I could pull myself in and close the door.

Don't ask me how I was able to knock back some paranormal mother fucker. I just don't know. I'm just lucky, I guess. I mean, I have heard that the police suggest people carry their keys like a knife when walking to their car - that way, they have something to protect themselves with. But really, I wasn't expecting it to work on this thing.

After that, I did what any rational person would do: I locked the fucking doors. I was planning on driving off, but with my legs in their current condition, I wouldn't have made it very far. I called the police and was on my way to the hospital in no time.

I still lost a lot of blood, though. They kept me in the hospital for a few weeks, and I'm still having to go to physical therapy every few days. Things have been quiet, though. I haven't seen the son of a bitch since the attack, so that's good.

There's something else, though. When I was looking out the hospital window, I could have sworn that there was a very tall, sharp-dressed man looking up at me. Make of that what you will.

I'm going to do a little more research before I investigate other happenings. I really don't feel like losing a body part.

Until next time.

- Art

1 comment:

  1. Dammit Arty, that wasn't very nice.

    The Rake is really very personable if you don't treat him like some creepy animal and just remember that he's almost a human being. We go out and get drunk on Friday nights, scope out babes together; he's actually a very fun guy.

    Stay frosty kid.