Friday, January 13, 2012

Final Update (Maybe)

Happy New Year. Yes, it's a little late, but better late than never, right?

Write. That's what I started this blog to do - to write. And boy, have I been writing constantly for the past few months. But not about fiction, about my life. Strange, isn't it? But I'm thankful that I've been doing just that, because I would be dead if not for this blog.

It all started with that Slender Man fellow. Oh, sure, I've only seen him twice, but he's affected my life more times than I can count. I don't think I need to tell you about how I screwed up, do I? Anyway, keeping him in my life has just made it more terrible, this is true; however, it's also kept me alive. Thinking constantly about him, being paranoid that he'll come creeping through my door... That's placed him in my life, whether he wants to show up or not.

And the other one, the Rake, doesn't like that too much.

I've had a theory for about a month now that involves why Slender Man hasn't actually appeared to me on multiple occasions. Despite going down the path of a few other bloggers (Find out about Slender Man, be paranoid about Slender Man, start seeing Slender Man constantly, eventually die), it's never progressed to that third step. A part of me wants to believe that I'm not his type, but it's something more than that. As soon as I started researching him, the other one came along shortly after. It's like I can only have one of these beings hunting me, and the Rake called dibs first.

Which actually makes sense; I was talking to my parents the other day, and they said I used to be frightened by the monster in my closet. Now, I'm sure every kid goes through this, but my parents claimed that it got so bad that my personality started to change into something filled with rage. We eventually had to leave New York state and come here (did you really think I was going to tell you where I lived? Dream on). After that, my younger self wasn't frightened anymore. I don't remember that this at all, and probably with good reason - forget about burying it in my subconscious. I didn't do that.

The Rake did.

I've been hearing whispers in my sleep for the past few months. Half of me will wake up, and I'll hear something close to my ear. It's something unintelligible, but still affects my mind. Look, I'm not sure how it works, it just happens that way. Every night this happens, I'll wake up and my memory will be dimmed. It's almost like someone took a marker and started drawing right on top of my memories, replacing what's already there.

The changes were subtle at first. I started to forget small things, like my keys or my school books. And then I started to forget Charlie; then I started to forget Slender Man. The Rake has been wanting me to forget about them, because they're tied to the happenings in my life. And if I ever forgot about them, if I ever got rid of the memory of another monster coming to get me, I'm sure that the old monster in my closet would come back to finish the job. It's like they both can't share the same prey.

Reading back through this blog, though, strengthened my memory on Charlie and Slender Man. I remember them, though not the specific memories. And... that's what's kept the Rake at bay. He was only able to attack me when I had forgotten to update this blog, I bet.

And I can't keep my life hooked to this, I just can't. Eventually, something will happen and everything on here will be erased, or I'll get into an accident and end up forgetting about this. And as soon as that happens, I'll be dead. I'll be monster food.

So, it's better to strike back with what time I have left, right?

I can't beat the Rake, but I have an idea that might just stop Slender Man for good. The Rake's been filling my subconscious with forgetting Tall, Dark, and Faceless, right? So, why not use that to my advantage? I have that tape recorder, and it's been picking up on the whispers. If I had someone else to listen to them, someone who had been affected by the monstrosity, perhaps they'll forget him. I've read theories that the more you fill your mind with him, the stronger he is; what if the more you forget him, the weaker he gets? Almost like a... reverse tulpa, I guess?

All I can do is try. This is literally my last chance to try and atone for my actions. If I can help out everyone else, if I can weaken him to the point where there's a chance of getting rid of him forever, I'll try it.

The chances of this working are slim (no pun intended). I've an opportunity to try this on someone, so within the next few days, that's what I'll be working on. But you can bet that this isn't going to end quietly. They're going to try and protect themselves, and they'll kill me if they get the chance. So, that's why this is most likely my final update.

However, should another post arrive on here, it'll most likely be from my phone. A friend of mine (and no, I'm not giving out their name) has been able to create a speech-to-text program for it, and it'll record my last moments, should they occur. I've got it set up to where it'll automatically send to this blog, so you all will know if I've succeeded or failed.

I thank you for reading this, and the other parts of my blog. Some of you have been undeniably helpful, while others... not so much.

You all are the reason I kept going back, hoping for someone to help me. But I suppose the truth is, you can only help yourself at times like these. I'll try that, and if it works, I'll help everyone.

I'll help everyone...

Listen to me, rambling on. I'm ending this now so that I can get back to work.

I hope there's a next time, but don't count on it.

- Arthur Pierce

The dreams of a mad man. 
Keep calm, carry on.
 Farstrider is coming.